-Fun for everyone-
Spanking is probably the most basic form of BDSM. Almost everyone regardless of your kink can get a little pleasure from this common practice. Sadists, Daddy’s, Dommes, Mistresses- the list continues can all get the power and control they want from bending a naughty boy or girl over their knee. Spanking also falls into many different emotions of BDSM. Some like it for the humiliation aspect, some enjoy the helplessness factor, age play, roleplay and some enjoy the pain. You don’t need an arsenal of toys to get started and you don’t need to be Madam Mistress to get your partner riled up. All you need is your hand or common household objects, depending on how kinky you want to get. Let’s not forget, consent. Make sure your partner is willing to get spanked before you go swinging the hairbrush.
-Spanking 101-
Here I am going to discuss a few “must knows” when it comes to spanking.
- Do not swing from your shoulder. Use your wrist and arm without pulling too far back.
- Keep your fingers together and use a flat palm
- Keep your aim steady. You do not want to hit the lower back. The fleshy area between the upper thighs and top of the butt cheeks is your sweet spot. Basically, the part they sit down on, is where you want to aim. Go for the area with the most padding.
- Spank in an upward motion
- Start off a little softer and slowly increase the intensity of your strokes
- Do not hit the same place over and over again. It will cause bruising. Spread your smacks around the butt
- Know your partners pain response. Check in with them and have a safe word.
- Even for advance spankers and spankees, it is best to start off with the hand and work your way into implements. It is more pleasurable for the person being spanked to have that “warm up” time.
-Funish or Punish-
This really depends on you and your sub. Some submissives enjoy severe, harsh impact play. For those that enjoy severity, then you may want to consider a different type of punishment for the sub. The world is wide and trust me, there are many different avenues for you and your naughty one to explore. Some people vanilla included enjoy a light sensual impact prior or during sex. Sensual spanking is a great tool to incorporate in roleplay, even for beginners. I mean who doesn’t get turned on by thought of a sex teacher or gym coach? I will be posting a beginners guide to roleplay, one of my favorite forms of play.
Some Doms enjoy spanking in all of its forms, because it is a great assertion of dominance in the dynamic. Even if the foreplay is gentle, it’s still a dominant act. It’s pretty much the most submissive thing a person can give. To lay down and be helpless to the pain your partner wants to inflict (even if it is gentle). It creates a feeling of helplessness, can possibly create a sense of humiliation and most of all it makes the submissive feel more submissive.
How can you punish someone who enjoys being spanked?
First off, you don’t have to spank them, you can use other forms of corrective discipline. However, if you are intent on spanking that naughty subbie, there are ways around everything. If your partner is a masochist, as I described earlier, then, I would suggest you choose another form of corrective disclipline.
However, if your submissive enjoys the sensual aspects and you want to punish them, then turn up the heat. You can incorporate use of implements. Your collection doesn’t have to be huge. You can use a hairbrush, wooden spoon, bath brush and so on. The world is wide. Be creative. However, be sure to have consent and monitor your partners pain response. Look for things like goosebumps, squinting or the face or any attempts to block your impact. If you are unsure, then check in with them and ask if they are ok and if you can continue.
Another great thing to incorporate is expressing your dissatisfaction of the unwanted behavior or action during the session. You can explain to them how and why they disappointed you and why you feel you have to do this as a preventative measure. Submissive people typically do not enjoy upsetting or disappointing their Dom. Incorporating the “lecture” along with an increase in the intensity can definitely discourage more unwanted behavior. But make sure you do let them know how good they are taking it for you and provide aftercare. Submission is a gift, even if you do get frustrated with your pet.
If those things aren’t doing the trick, you can take it to the next level and try figging. It is a very uncomfortable experience for the submissive. Read my article on figging.
All Things Kink 