All Things Kink

-You don’t have to be a BDSM expert to start with this kink-

What better way to show your naughty girl who is in charge of the relationship? You don’t have to be an expert or have a massive toy collection to engage in this form of play. If you are new to the lifestyle or spicing things up this is a great way to assert power and dominance in the bedroom. Don’t confuse edging and orgasm denial. Edging is when you push yourself or partner to the brink of orgasm, and then stop, tease more and lengthen the experience. The lengthening of the experience brings a much more intense orgasm. A ruined orgasm is pushing your partner to the brink, making their body begin an orgasm and then stopping. They will still experience the contractions and movements associated with the orgasm, however a serious decrease in pleasure if any at all.

-Why do people enjoy this practice? –

There are many different reasons people partake in destroying a dirty girl’s orgasm. In most cases it has to do with power play. It is an assertion of dominance. The Dom is literally controlling the sexual release of the submissive. The submissive is at the will of the Dominant. Denial is much better, because, in women, they still get some sort of relief from the pressure of feeling like a kitty cat in heat, even if the orgasm is ruined. They may not receive the maximum pleasure, but they will get the relief. If you want to keep your submissive extra submissive and needy, then push them and deny.

Submissives enjoy this for a wide range of reasons, some like the helplessness, some like feeling of being unworthy of pleasure, some enjoy the feeling of being punished for their misdeeds in daily life, others just enjoy the simple feeling of being sexually dominated. There’s no need to focus on why you enjoy it. Focus on what about the experience you enjoy, this way you can get more of it in other forms of play.

-Orgasm Denial-

Orgasm denial is when the Top leads the submissive to the brink of pleasure then ceases. This can be done in many ways, finger stimulation, oral teasing or using a vibrator to tease and then when the submissive is begging puddy in the Dominants hands, they stop. This leaves the submissive extra submissive, uncomfortable and in desperation for relief. When a submissive is Dominated in this fashion, in most cases it leaves them feeling extra compliant and submissive to the Dominant. I think this is much for effective for training your submissive. It shows them that orgasms are rewards for good behavior, and it will keep the submissive more attentive to your needs. The submissive will typically be extra loving and obedient. It is very rare that the submissive turns into a brat. Why would they? That type of behavior isn’t going to get them the relief they desperately need. Denial is a great method to use during the training process.

-Step by Step Guide to Ruining Your Dirty Girls Orgasm-

• Get your subbie naked and verbally stimulate them- Some Dominants like the surprise approach. When I am Topping a female, I want them to know that I am in control and what is about to happen. Making them aware makes the submissive feel helpless to your control. I let them know that I am in control of their body and pleasure. You can even go as far to tell them why they won’t be getting off, if you are using it as a form of punishment. I also find it quite effective to restrict the submissives movement by binding their hands over their head and tying their legs apart. The bondage is optional, of course.
• Tease the entire body- I start by stimulating every part of the body EXCEPT the vagina. I focus on the nipples, neck, and inner thighs. Those are hot spots on most women. This teasing will get the submissive aroused and needy. I verbally stimulate the submissive the entire time. Women interpret words as emotion, and women require emotional stimulation to cum.
• Slowly work your way in– When it comes to this type of play, I like to use a higher intensity vibrator, a wand may be too much for some, but high speed on a regular vibe works great. I focus on the outside area of the vagina (vulva) lips and inner thighs. You can also graze the vibrator over the hooded clitoris. It is quite entertaining to watch the horny sub try to move into the vibrator.
• Go for the kill shot- After you see that your partner is aroused and desperate; They will rock their hips, moan, possibly beg. Direct your motion or toy directly to the clitoris. I think it’s safe to say, if you have experience with women, you know when she is about to climax. However, if you do not, pay attention to their body. Look for things like dilated pupils, tensing or shaking in legs, increased sound or even silence. If you are unsure direct your girl to let you know when they are about to climax.
• Ruined- Here is cream of the coffee. When your subbie tells you they are going to climax, continue the stimulation until you see their body start to climax. When you see the orgasm begin you have a VERY SMALL window of time to complete your task. You want their body to begin the climax but do not go too far or they will actually get the full satisfaction of the orgasm. When the submissive tells me they are going to orgasm, I continue the pressure and count to two before I remove the vibrator. This gives enough time for the body to enter the promised land. After I count to two, I stop the stimulation and use my hand to “cup” the vagina applying pressure especially to the clitoris. You will feel the vagina contract exactly like it does during climax, however, the stimulation has ceased so the pleasure will not be the same. There will be very little pleasure if any at all. When I am doing this action, I am typically speaking to them telling them that they aren’t going to climax and normally I am telling them why- they don’t deserve it, they are naughty and naughty girls don’t get to cum- or whatever my partner needs to hear to make this effective.

-After all is said and done and no cum-

As with any BDSM practice, be sure to provide aftercare. With this form of play often times the aftercare is overlooked because no real pain was involved. However, this is an intense experience for the submissive. The submissives ego will probably be slightly hurt, no matter how accustomed to the lifestyle they are. Thier body will be in need and desperation. So, take it easy on them afterward and allow them time to catch their breath. They are already overstimulated. The aftercare makes the reality of not climaxing acceptable. You can immediately hold your naughty girl or give them a kiss. I have actually experienced those forms of aftercare in relation to orgasm denial and they are quite powerful. Even though the submissive was unable to have the orgasm they wanted, those physical forms of affection make them feel cared for and that the denial is for their own good: making them a better submissive, teaching them self-control, correcting unwanted behavior or whatever your reason is. Verbally expressing how well they behaved during play is also a great form of aftercare. No matter what or how you choose to show your love, make sure you show it. Submission is a gift, not to be taken for granted.